Will the Real "Me" Please Stand Up

Who is Joe Blow?

Most of us are quite confident in who we are. In fact, most of the time we are also just as confident in who our friends are as well. But when I begin to describe myself or my friend, the criteria chosen for such a description usually begins with a physical description: age, gender, height, general build, hair color, eye color and so on.

Tell me something more about him. What is he like?

Of course, this type of description is quite limited and gives absolutely no true clarification with regard to the specific person being described and we quickly move on to describing what that person is like, in other words, their characteristics.

I need to know more! What does he like to do?

Some of those characteristics are based on their immediate environment, their family, job, other friends, where they live etc. Again, we find our description lacking. Finally, if we dig very deep, we uncover the final deepest layer: what that person likes. For instance, our friend might like opera or country music, football or baseball, reading or watching TV, staying home with the family or going out and partying all night long.

But what are we really describing here? These characteristics are actually the desires a certain person enjoys being fulfilled. We begin to truly know someone when we know what they like, what fulfills them, what gives them the most pleasure. This is exactly why, as a rule, our closest friends are the people with whom we have the most in common with respect to what gives us pleasure.

In other words, when we like doing the same things as our friend, we want to be around them more. Our final conclusions with regard to “who” anyone is virtually always is based upon the desires that are unique to that specific person.

I am my desires?

So does this mean I am my desires? Other than my biological characteristics, am I just a certain number of wants that when totaled together make up me, the person?

We see so many different desires in this world that if we take into account each of these desires understanding that every one of them can be fulfilled in many ways, it is no wonder why there is so much diversity in all of the people on the planet.

However, consider for a moment that there just might be a deeper “you,” a “you” that is not determined by the combination of physical characteristics and the totality of desires for certain types of pleasure. Where and how would I discover such a “me” within this exterior “me”?

Confused yet? What other “me” could their possibly be?

I am not my desires

The answer to this question lies not within the desires that make up a person, but rather within “who” is actually fulfilling them. In other words, where does the pleasure that fulfills those desires originate?

Let’s assume for a moment that there is some sort of force, a force like any other, gravity, electricity, whatever. But the unique thing about this force is that it is what gives us that pleasure. How? First, it builds those desires we all feel in different ways, then it fulfills them. In reality, this is exactly what happens. Every movement we make from the smallest to the largest is to fulfill some sort of desire.

While you are mulling that one over, consider this. We are completely hidden from this force. But if this force does exist, not only is it responsible for every single thing that I do, as I am always trying to fulfill some desire of some sort or I remain still, but it is also responsible for everything that everybody else does as well. For the actions of any individual on the planet are always for the same purpose, to receive some sort of fulfillment in some desire. The same is true for any animal on the planet. It is just that our desires are more developed.

The story of the King and the peasant

So what are we trying to get at here? Let’s see if a short story might clear it all up. There were once two boys who were great friends. When they grew up, one became a King, and the other a simple peasant. They lost track of each other through the years, but one day the King discovered where the peasant was. Seeing his circumstances, he began to secretly give the peasant gifts. The peasant loved the gifts he received and enjoyed their pleasure so much that it was a long time before he began wondering who was giving him such gifts.

After many years, it finally occurred to him that these gifts had a source, and he began searching for the source of the wonderful endowments. One day, he noticed a man leaving a gift for him to find, and followed the man. Of course, the man entered the palace of the King, and the peasant followed him inside.

Meeting the King, he was amazed to find out that it was he that was giving him the gifts all these years. The King noticed that the peasant was now not really happy and he asked “What else can I give you that would make you totally happy?” The peasant answered “I want to be like you, to do what you do.” This the King could not do, for he could give the peasant every possession he had, but it was up to the peasant to find within himself the desire of the good King.

We are like that peasant, constantly receiving pleasure from desires that are placed within us by an anonymous giver. But at some point, we begin to not relate to just the gifts from the giver, but actually want to find out who he is, and to become like him.

I have to create the real “me”

This desire represents our actual “I”. Why? Because all those other desires actually come from the giver. But the desire to become like the giver, to do what he does, is not a desire he gives us, it is a desire we develop within ourselves. And it is the only independent desire we own, all the rest comes from the giver.