Letter No. 47
To my dearest ... forever and ever:
I received your words today and there is one thing that I see in them: your great fear of my moving away from you even as a hairsbreadth.
It is inherent in people, and also gives permission ... to draw true abundance to the other side. And where the abundance of fear should affect you, to look into your own heart, always and forever—so as to not distance your heart from me as a hairsbreadth—you turn this fear on me, that my heart will not draw far from you. Thus, you are laboring to correct what is fixed, what was never broken, while the broken place remains broken and without attention. I know that these words, too, will be unclear to you and you will not understand where they are coming from, and at a time of joy you might think more, God forbid.
I do feel for you, my dear, to toss into your mouth a drop of truth, which is not obliged by any of the 613 organs of the human body. How many times have you learned it from me? And still, whenever I offer you a word of truth you fight me fiercely.
Indeed, so is the nature of spirituality: one who is adhered to the Creator feels himself as un-adhered. He worries and is insecure about it, and does all that he can do by his strength to be rewarded with Dvekut [adhesion]. A wise one feels opposite from one who is not attached to the Creator, who feels content and satisfied, and does not properly worry, except to keep the Mitzvot [commandments] of worry and longing, for “a fool does not feel.” And just as one cannot teach one who is blind from birth the essence of absence of vision, except by giving him eyesight, so is this matter.
I have already written that you are wrong to say that I have journeyed from you. You should instead understand that you have journeyed from me. Believe me that my eyes and heart are always with you, without feeling a distance of place or time at all. Were it not required for the listener to know, you would be witnessing it.
But on the contrary, physical remoteness can act within you faster. And in truth, this is what I hoped, and do hope, if you understand further.
It is also true that I judge you favorably, assuming the air of Jerusalem while I am still before you, and especially during concealment from you. This is why I have established for you conducts by which you can still hang on and not turn back.
And the single most special one about them is the adhesion of friends. I sincerely promise that this love is able. And I shall remind you of every good thing that you need. And if you nonetheless braced yourselves in that, you would certainly go from strength to strength on the rungs of holiness, as I have promised earlier.
How can I forgive this to you: the ladder that is placed on the ground is empty; no one is climbing it, and instead of today you say, “tomorrow.” You tell me, what will you gain from my forgiveness? Let me know and I will answer you.
I am not an issuer of decrees or a maker of laws, and this you, too, should know. Unless I feared sliding back, I would not go out of my way, for it was extremely difficult for me. But I am as one who regrets the loss of time ... but my soul suffers from it more than was anticipated, even in a standstill, much less when you, God forbid, fall back. This I saw ahead of time and wished to fix in advance.
Therefore, let me remind you the validity of love of friends in spite of everything at this time, for it is upon that that our right to exist depends, and upon that our near-to-come success is measured.
Hence, turn away from all the imaginary engagements and set your hearts on thinking thoughts and devising proper tactics to truly connect your hearts as one, so the words, “Love your friends as yourself,” will literally come true in you, for a verse does not reach beyond the literal, and you will be cleaned by the thought of love that will be covering all transgressions. Test me in that, and begin to truly connect in love, and then you’ll see, “the palate will taste,” and all the people will not separate between me and you.
And concerning your negligence in coming to the prayer, I know and feel your fate and sorrow. And unless I saw that the measure of loss does not decrease by the justness of the cause, I would not say a word.
Yehuda Leib