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Bold: Questions/Comments
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Regular: Commentaries of Michael Laitman, PhD
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lowercase italics: emphasized words
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Capitalized Italics: Transliteration from Hebrew
Question: It seems to me that questions and answers are an important thing in Kabbalah. What's the spiritual root of questions, and what do you do if you don't have any?
Michael Laitman: We can see the importance from the Passover Hagaddah, the story about the four sons. The Torah speaks of four sons, and one of them didn't know what to ask. So if there are no questions, is there anything to talk about? One of the boys was wicked, because he said, ”I want, and I deserve.” So why is he one of the sons? Basically, you have the four types of people in these four sons, and they refer to the four phases that we have in Yod Hey Vav Hey (YHVH), in the original sacred name, which is how we're built.
Moderator: What about the one who can't ask or doesn't know what to ask?
M. Laitman: The Torah says, “Open up for him.” In other words, you have to entice him, because he’s alive, but the questions about the meaning of life haven't yet occurred to him: “What am I living for? What's the benefit of living? He's living at the level of animal and it's not that we regard this as an inferior state, but he is asking the same questions out of that level. The questions that arise during the exodus from Egypt—the exodus from corporeality to spirituality, to eternity, to perfection, to something beyond this life—these are the questions that prompt you to rise. So, even the questions of the wicked are better than no questions at all. We can even see that when a person asks questions with the evil intention to harm, eventually, it evokes him to listen and to understand.
Provoking people to open up is a great commandment that we've been instructed to do, because there are many people whose point in the heart hasn't yet opened. The question about “What am I living for? What's the benefit of living? What do I get out of life? What about my soul, reward and punishment, and next world?” The world is waking up to these questions more and more, and those who don't get an answer turn to drugs and all kinds of dependencies, falling into despair and depression. Actually, all the problems of the world stem from people not knowing the essence of life. It's up to us to evoke these questions in them, because even while they're suffering the blows, it still takes time for them to wake up.
If a person asks from suffering, it's too late. It's preferable that we evoke these questions and provide the answers as well. So, even if the question isn't that pleasant like, “What am I living for? Who am I? What am I doing here?” It's hard for us to think about those things, and we want to detach ourselves from asking, because “when you add knowledge, you add pain.” But, it's better if you provide them with an answer in addition to the question, because in this way, you reveal the illness and you're giving the medicine at the same time, and this is preferable to avoid providing an opening.
Question: You say that the Creator doesn't consider an individual person. How then, can we see that the Creator sends thoughts to every person in a particular way, and that's suited to every person individually?
M. Laitman: Right now we can neither discuss nor disclose that question, because it is revealed within an entire system. It occurs when you begin to understand your connection to others and improve your relationships: moving from hatred to love and consideration of others. This doesn't happen by him wanting it to happen, or by feeling obligated, or by being forced to do it. Rather, it's by being exposed, even a tiny bit, to what the wisdom of Kabbalah says. It's revealed just by listening and learning, and by trying to understand. You suddenly begin to feel how the world expands, and how the connections between people, the Creator, the Upper force, which is really nature, encompasses us.
It happens gradually, but I guarantee you, that those who listen more, will begin to feel it inside by identifying with this picture. That's the way I went through it, and it's also what happens to my students. As you continue to open up from within, the senses expand and you begin to feel the inner connection between us. From this state, a person discovers how to improve himself, and truly comes to where he feels life beyond the body—a life that's beyond a corporeal connection.
There is another level of connection that is deeper, broader, higher and eternal, where we exist without the body. In our physical bodies we’re just animals and there is no difference between man and beast in the physical body, unless we transcend it to the human level, to connecting between us at the soul’s degree. There, we discover that we have the feeling of life on an entirely new, different, and lofty plane. This is what we should achieve while living here in this world.
The purpose of Kabbalah is to bring us to eternity and peace right here, while living in this world. As it says, “You will see your world in your life,” only by listening, and continuing to listen. We read and study only authentic Kabbalistic sources. From these books, the force that will open your hearts descends upon you, and you'll begin to feel everything that exists around you, which is hidden right now.
Question: I'm in my mid twenties, an age when a person should decide what to do with his life. Most of my friends are in university or working some regular job, and some of them have started a family. But I can't make up my mind which direction to take, and I have no idea what I want to do. It's not that I'm depressed, it's just that nothing really appeals to me. What steps would you advise me to take in order for me to finally find something that will really interest me, and differentiates me from everybody else?
M. Laitman: That's a very difficult question, because if you have no motivation in your day-to-day living, it can be a problem. Perhaps, you need to get into it a little deeper to see what you're attracted to, to see what you're good at. But don't forget that these things exist only in order for you to earn a living, to give you what you need to provide for yourself, and for your family. You have to think about that too, and not just assume that it may come in ten or twenty years as people do today; that's not a good thing.
The time to think about these things is right now. Kabbalists normally recommend that a person has to be married, have children, have a home, a family, and for that, you need to make a certain amount of money to sustain yourself, so as not be a burden on society. One has to live in this world, and that's why we're here. You also need to be a good educator to your children. In other words, you have to increase your level of understanding, so you can teach your children properly. The Kabbalah demands all this from a person.
That's what you have to do in next fifty or seventy years of your life. But there's something beyond this life that we can achieve while being in this world, and that's the eternal level. This is the level of freedom from all the boundaries in life and death, and so on. That's why we come to this world. From within this lowly, contemptible, and egoistical world, where everyone suffers and no one's happy, we can rise to the highest peak to achieve a true, eternal, and happy life.
It's not a dream, and these are not just flowery words; it's something that we have to achieve. There is no coercion in spirituality, but if you have any inclination to spirituality, I would recommend also thinking about your eternal fulfillment while working and raising a family. Don't say,” Well, maybe later on, once I learn a profession,” or as some people say, “I'll repent, and become religious when I'm sixty, then I’ll deal with God, and then I’ll observe the commandments.”
Moderator: Are you talking about repentance? I remember the synagogue that I grew up in was always filled with old men.
M. Laitman: Yes, that's common, but we're talking about realization, and eternal, happy life in this world, that you can achieve while in this life. At the same time, you live the way everyone else lives in this world. Then you'll see that the spiritual world and corporeal world are actually parallel, and support each other. If you live that way, you will see that all of that is really a single world. I recommend getting into the wisdom of Kabbalah for sometime, and it will help you to understand the right approach to your life.
It will balance you inside, and after all the experience, you will simply turn to a practical profession that will help you to provide for yourself and for your family, and will fill your entire life with spirituality. We have students who are businessmen, some are actors, others are intellectuals, and others are simple workers. Everyone has a place and everyone makes his own choices, all complimenting one another. The spiritual world and corporeal world become one, and this fills a person's life.
Moderator: I'd like to further clarify a concept you mentioned. You mentioned how people want to enjoy the world now, and postpone their repentance for when they are sixty years old.” What do you mean?
M. Laitman: No. Ordinary repentance is when people think they will save it for the end of their lives, because it’s a pity to mess up the present, and they will repent for everything later to create a good account and prepare their way out. But I'm not talking about the kind of repentance when you prepare yourself for something that happens in the afterlife. I'm talking about in this life.
When you feel the spiritual world in a tangible way, and you're in it, along with being in this world, they become as one world to you. You feel the forces that affect reality, your connection with the world, and with people. You feel the spiritual world and the corporeal world in such a way that even when you depart from this world, you're still in the same reality that you achieved before. That is repentance according to Kabbalah.
Moderator: So, you return to the sensation of this world, from a broader world?
M. Laitman: Yes, because we came from there and we have to return there. But, returning happens precisely because you're here. You have nothing else beyond what you achieved in this world, and what you achieved here is what you will have when you pass away.
Moderator: How do we go back there?
M. Laitman: By the Light that Reforms; that's what the study of Kabbalah is for. The study of Kabbalah is the method by which we discover the spiritual world, the governance of the Creator over us, identifying our connection to it, and to continue with it. Then you understand much better what happens to you in this world, because then you are really able to connect to your wife, to your children, to your spouse, and to your friends. You understand what it's all for, and how you've been operated through it, and how you can participate in the world more correctly. You begin to live actively, and you begin to understand why everything happens to you.
Moderator: There is a difficult verse in The Zohar that says, “the Hey will return to the Vav.”
M. Laitman: Vav (the sixth letter) is the quality of the Creator, bestowal and love. The Hey (fifth letter) is our ego that wants only to receive to fill itself and nothing else. It's our nature; it wants only to fulfill itself.
If we rise with our nature, our ego, and become attached to the quality of bestowal and love, this is called “the return of the Hey to the Vav.” This is called repentance. A person has to acquire the quality of the Creator, that of bestowal and love, and cling to them along with the ego. Unlike religions and belief systems that suppress the ego, we don't diminish it. For us, “one who is greater than his friend, his desires are greater than him.” Using the wisdom of Kabbalah, we receive an even greater ego and that helps to rise, like in Mount Sinai, like how Moses rose on Mount Sinai, and was able to surmount the mountain of hatred within him. He grew up in Pharaoh's house for a specific reason, but was able to transcend his ego, and then he achieved Godliness.
This is what we need to do. Our ego is actually an assistant, through which we have to achieve a higher level, an eternal level, and we can't achieve Godliness without it. So, we have to be in this world, and from within it, we achieve everything.
The Wisdom of Kabbalah doesn't negate keeping corporeal Mitzvot (commandments), religion and ordinary repentance, but it talks about a different, spiritual level of repentance.
Question: Does a woman who has qualities that are considered masculine hurt herself?
M. Laitman: No, everyone needs to discover himself. Everyone in this world is the result of different qualities one is born with: how one was raised, in terms of home, environment, school, and afterwards, how society pressures one through television, radio, fashion, and all kind of things. A person absorbs the thoughts of the entire world and that's what really forms an individual, but this is not the real me. Even the qualities I was born with, why are they considered me? That's the way I was fashioned at the onset, and I received it through genes and hormones. Biologists today, are discovering that there is a gene that is responsible for everything. So, where am I in all this?
It's not that simple. Why is Kabbalah called “the hidden wisdom?” First, you have to discover who you are inside, because you don’t know yourself, because you're hidden, even from yourself. You think you know yourself, because you have seen all kinds of pictures and images that you received from the outside world, and so you behave accordingly, in the way you eat, the way you walk, the way you dress, the way you behave, and none of it is you. You receive these examples and you follow them. You're a robot that was trained to do that.
The first step in the wisdom of Kabbalah is to discover yourself—who you are inside. When you discover that, you will be amazed. Who am I, really? I never even knew myself, but then you discover that you truly are a part of God Above. By discovering that, it becomes possible for you to know how you need to sculpt yourself out of this original raw material. After discovering the raw material in this way, you return to the wisdom of Kabbalah, from discovering who you are, to rebuilding yourself.
Then you understand the example we get from God, to build yourself as a human, as Adam—one who is similar to the Creator. Other than that, Kabbalah says, that if you don't realize these things “Everyone is like beast.” You can be either a beast or you can be a man, who is similar to God—one or the other.
This is why I recommend to, first of all, take the books and acquire the Light that is in them. Or study through the website, through our lectures and lessons, and thus, discover who you are inside. Then, you have to build yourself, and you are actually obligated to do so.
Question: What is the spiritual root of laughter?
M. Laitman: Laughter is very high [degree], it is a sign of happiness, a sign of connecting opposites. “God was laughing with me,” “He is laughing with people,” “He is laughing with creation.”
When you see how good and bad compliment each other, or how darkness and light connect and compliment one another, the result of it is an eruption of joy. When joy becomes unlimited, then there's no more limitations, and everything is good, because there is no bad. You can see that the bad made a false appearance, and it's not really bad, it's just like how parents pretend to be tough. We then discover that this bad was given only to reveal the good. Then there is a limitless eruption of joy, because good and bad connect and bring about that situation where there are no boundaries, it’s neither bad nor good, and they all appear as one; that situation is called laughter. This is what we have to achieve. Laughter is a very high degree.
Moderator: Do you like jokes?
M. Laitman: Oh, yes, very much. Rabash too, my teacher, loved jokes. Kabbalists like jokes because they're built upon connecting two things in a kind of sudden, unexpected way. This produces a certain, specific disclosure that can only happen in this way. Not everyone likes jokes. Take people who are mentally ill, for example. They can't understand jokes, because there's a limitation in their ability to connect. The level of animals can't understand jokes either. A joke transcends a certain level, where two levels, two opposites, unite. Only human beings can understand humor. Actually, it's common for Jews, and many of the first and the best comedians, were Jews.
Question: Can you summarize the simplest and the most usable correction method, in one sentence?
M. Laitman: The correction method is built upon discovering the Creator by the creatures in this world. This discovery brings a person to correction, and that's all it is. Through Kabbalah, we discover the Creator, and when you're discovering the Creator, you surrender to Him and you become corrected. The whole method is for the purpose of discovering it. What is the essence of the wisdom of Kabbalah? It is the revelation of the Creator to the creatures in this world.
Question: How can I know that the evil inclination does not lead me astray?
M. Laitman: It always does, and not just sometimes; it always does. How do you know? It’s the advantage of the Light over darkness. If I don’t compare myself to a true standard or scale that is an absolute measurement, I can never know how I am being manipulated by nature, people, the environment, life, or where my own confusion leads me. That is why it is said that a person can understand what is good and what is bad, and function accordingly, only if a Light appears to him.
The Light is the internal awareness and consciousness that something is above me, and I have to be like it. It is a quality—the quality of bestowal, the quality of love, and I feel it is above me. This occurs gradually, in very, very small portions, through study. There is no other way, no other possibility or chance; it only comes by listening.
A woman doesn’t have to sit like us and delve into the books to research it. It is enough for her to listen, to watch on the Internet or television, at her leisure. She can just turn on her TV or computer, and play or download material, and that is enough. All of a sudden, she will begin to feel that she understands, not intellectually, but that the Surrounding Light affects her—the quality of bestowal that fills our world, called the Creator. She will feel that this world is truly one whole world, that people are connected, that she is being led, and that behind this world, there are things that move things around by a certain process.
The result of discovering is called the “the opening of the eyes,” and thus she will begin to see her life and begin to be able to tell between good and bad. Otherwise, there is no way of telling in this life. That’s the reason for all of our failings, and that is why Humanity is going from failure to failure. The only way is to listen, or watch what is being said in the wisdom of Kabbalah, and it can be done without any major efforts. Just keeping it in the background is enough.
Question: I understand that it is all up to us, and that our perception of reality is all in our minds. I am constantly worried about my income, especially since I have had a difficult time in my business. If I know that the Creator is directing us, is this worrying unnecessary? Shouldn’t I just accept this situation and say, “it will be okay?” I’m not asking for anything except some direction that will lead me to a peaceful life. I’ve had enough of worrying about money.
M. Laitman: I understand. A person wants to enjoy a good life, but that’s not why we’re here in this world. Well, we're here to enjoy the pleasure for the right purpose, not the false pleasures of declining into the ordinary life, and simply calming ourselves down. Besides, we won’t be able to calm ourselves down, because the force that governs our life wants to bring us to its goal. We don’t know the goal and we don’t know where to begin, but we can come to know it through Kabbalah. The common force that is running our world systemically is very accurate and precise towards every single person. It throws us off balance, and it constantly pinches us and gives us all kinds of troubles.
Let’s put it this way. Try to preserve yourself by going to some isolated place, living alone, far away from all the problems, and settling for as little as you can. You’ll begin to feel that you are unable to relax and you will have internal or external reasons that cause you to be imbalanced. They force you to run and become restless, so you look at yourself objectively, and you don’t know why this is happening. It is happening because there is a plan within you that has to be realized. So, all the prayers, to be left alone, to get some peace and quiet, and forget about the Creator—is not going to help you.
On the contrary, you need to understand what the Upper Force wants of you, why this world exists, why you exist, and what you have in common with the goal we have to reach. There is only one way of having peace and that is if you go along with the general plan. This plan is to realize creation and bring it to correction. If you go along with it, you will feel peaceful, and feel good.
Otherwise, even if you stray just a little bit and disagree with it, your disagreement immediately activates a prompting force that pushes you forward. So, the good or bad forces that affect you in this world depend upon your understanding of the plan, of the goal, and the extent to which you can advance toward it.
So, open a book and start getting to know what is being asked of you, because that is really the answer. And if you achieve equilibrium with the force that pushes you to achieve the goal, you will feel at peace and you will feel tranquility: this is possible and could be done in a short time, on the condition that you discover your plan, that you discover your lifeline.
Moderator: Let’s try to get into the situation he’s describing and give him practical guidance as in a 3-step plan. Let's say he’s studying in the virtual group, meaning he’s already in some process of studying Kabbalah. He has a business and has had a hard year, so he’s worrying about what will happen, and if the business will survive and whatnot. He is aware of how he is immersed in worrying and he is asking how he should relate to it. Should he want the concerns to go away, or continue to worry about them? Give him the first step, and take him one step further from here.
M. Laitman: If he has a business problem of some sort, then he needs to put his business in order, in a worldly manner, and study as much as he can. He must not have unrealistic expectations, but try to understand in a very practical manner that he needs to care for his sustenance, and to provide for his family as well. He needs to aspire to that, and that’s it.
But if he adds the spiritual goal to his life, in addition to the corporeal goal, then there is no reason that he will feel deprived, troubled, or hurt in any way. It is impossible. If you diminish your life to just corporeal existence, such as wanting peace and quiet, and to have a business that is to provide for himself and his home, then there is no reason why this should not happen along with spiritual advancement. Then his life will be in balance, since all the negative forces come to us through the imbalance that we ourselves create.
Question: As a mother of a seven year old, I see that there are moments when my child finds it difficult to be good, to listen and cooperate with the environment, although he is an ordinary child. He makes great efforts to be normal, like everyone else, but it just doesn’t work out for him, and he gives up. Is this connected to his soul or to his education, and how can I help him?
M. Laitman: It is connected to his education, to some extent, of course, but primarily it depends on the qualities he was born with. There are people who are very stubborn for a goal, and have such a big ego that they can’t leave it. It pushes them—they move forward and they can’t give it up. Some people see many things around them and their weakness helps them to not go too much forward and perhaps, it is for the best. Why run fast if sitting and doing nothing is better? It depends on where you are running. So, idleness can be a good quality too, because perhaps it's preventing from us many problems, otherwise, we would chase all kinds of things in this world and fail, ending up in big trouble and in great pain.
Therefore we need to consider the child's nature. There is a reason why the books say to “teach the boy according to the boy’s way.” We need to see the child as an individual, as a person, and not try to match him up to some standard in society, because he won’t succeed that way. You can’t pressure him or force him to accept something that seems good to you, or that you saw on television. He has to succeed in own way, so teach him in his own way.
We have to give children the tools by which they will know how to be human beings. Teach them why they are living, what their life’s goal is, how to build a family, how to be educated and to educate their own children, and how to relate to life, the environment, and to nature. These simple things are what build a correct attitude towards oneself and the environment; they are the basis. It doesn’t matter if he realizes himself less or more than a person who is being pulled by a greater ego to be someone famous or important. We have to give our children the possibility to realize themselves properly and completely, both in this life and the spiritual life. Being in both worlds will give them a ticket to a good and happy life.
If you take children like Napoleon or Einstein—or anyone who became unique. It's possible that they were not unique as children, perhaps they were even lazy. Einstein wasn't a physicist in school, and he nearly got suspended. On the contrary, we really don’t know the right development of a person. In The Essence of Religion and its Purpose, Baal HaSulam explains that, as developed as a person is when he is a mature adult, as a child, he doesn’t understand the simplest things. During the first grades in school he actually understands less than anybody else. We learn from nature, that the initial components seem opposite than their successful end. So, first and foremost, don’t pressure a child, rather, see what’s appropriate for him.
Question: I have been hosting Women’s Circles for many years. I don’t know if you know the phenomenon, there is a vision that says that if women everywhere gather together, the change that everyone wants will occur. Meaning, that the concentrated feminine power will change the world. For the first time in my life, I heard a completely different position from you, saying that the correction of women doesn’t depend on them gathering because they are much more individual in essence. That the important thing is for the men to create the love in the group. I need further explanation. If what you say is true, then why is this phenomenon of women’s circles increasing, and what is the women’s individualism that you are talking about? Can you please elaborate?
M. Laitman: First of all, we base our study on the Torah and the wisdom of Kabbalah to acquire knowledge that is based on discovering the spiritual world: the male root of the soul comes from the force of bestowal, called Galgalta ve Eynaim, the higher part of the spiritual Partzuf (face), which is the spiritual soul. So, they have to unite. That’s why men have to pray in a Minyan, a gathering of ten men and above, and other things that the Torah tells men they have to do on the corporal level.
The woman is the home, she maintains the home, the education, and essentially provides loving care. Even if you research the psychological nature of men and women, from the perspective of science and all the more so, from the perspective of the Torah, it reveals that every woman is an independent creature. According to Kabbalah, the feminine part stems from the highest Malchut, which is the vessel of reception. Every Kli, every single vessel is a desire in and of itself. Even though it connects to others, its connection is still to provide for itself, and to satisfy only itself. A woman cannot work the way a man can, and neither can a man work the way a woman can. These are two separate forces that act completely different in our world.
We see how different our natures are in that a man can’t really understand women, and a woman can’t really understand a man. As much as we may want to be close, the connection has to happen through a mutual understanding of each one's different nature, and in that, we create harmony. That’s why it says, “A man and a woman—Divinity is between them.” There is a third party here that is the adhesive between them, and that will create the third bonding.
In the correction of our souls, there is the male part and the female part. These are like two lines that deny one another until the third line comes and determines so that each will rise above their egoistic natures, connecting above nature and creating a third party, that determines and establishes peace between them.
All of these things are very lofty, but the result in corporeality is for the purpose of general correction. Who says that women shouldn’t bond? In their bonding, however, they must not forget that they need to provoke the men to correction. The primary part of correction of the world depends upon the men who have been activated by the woman’s desire. The same way in which a woman sends the man out to work, and to earn a living, while she maintains the home. That’s the original structure of a family.
So, we have to understand that nothing has changed since then, even though we keep destroying it in our everyday life. We must understand that this is how we are to develop in spirituality. Men achieve spirituality, the correction of the world, and all of humanity, on the condition that women will support them. The men at Mount Sinai had to achieve the mutual responsibility between them, the bond of Arvut where, I am responsible for everyone and they are responsible for me. In this reciprocity, we guarantee each other’s support, but this occurs only in the men. There were 600, 000 men around Mt. Sinai, and all the women and children surrounded them there. They supported the men by giving them their need for the world to be corrected.
I recommend grasping these natural components. It’s good that women get together and bond, but they must remember what for? The goal has to be for these women’s groups to prompt men to search for life’s meaning, and for the solutions to the world’s problems, the problems with our children, divorce, drugs, all the natural catastrophes, global society, and the entire human civilization. If women would want it to be all corrected they can bring it about, because it is inherent in nature. They can also compel the men to make these corrections, and they will. So, there truly is a great force in women to begin with. The woman is the lack, the desire, and the man is the realization of that desire. I urge you to push the world in the right direction.
Question: What is an intention in spirituality? What should I do so that what I say, think and do, is with intention?
M. Laitman: Let’s pretend that I bring an alien to a place where he can watch someone stabbing another person, and that person is suffering and dies. Then I take the alien to an operating room, where he sees one person is cutting another person. The person using the knife is respected, appreciated, and compensated, while the other person has been put behind bars.
If you look at the actions alone, without understanding what is happening, since he is not linked to the intention, he wouldn’t know how to distinguish between the two acts. So, the intention determines the kind, the level, and the essence of the act.
It's like a parent who spanks a child. Even the books say “He who spares his son the whip, hates his son.” I’m not recommending violence to our viewers, but you have to use both judgment and mercy. Without these two forces, you can’t stabilize a person. So, if a witness sees a parent yelling and demanding a child, you might think that he is a bad father. Even the child thinks the father is bad. On the other hand, let's say a father gives his child everything, and the child takes the money to buys drugs. Is that a good father?
We have to understand the essence of our actions. It’s not in the act itself, in the give and take. The essence of the act is within the person, what you’re aiming for, and what you get out of it. That’s why the wisdom of Kabbalah is called the wisdom of intentions; intentions are all that matter. Kabbalists performs intentions, correcting the world with their intentions. Why? Because the actions in our world generally bring us all to chaos.
Moderator: Okay, so regarding the intention: How does a person maintain the intention? What is this intention?
M. Laitman: It is written, “Love thy friend as thyself.” Perhaps is it an intention, but it may also be an act. The act, however, may be totally the opposite of what we think. If I realize that if I give something to a person and as a result he may not go to work, then maybe I shouldn’t give it to him. In that way I’ll improve him and correct him. The wisdom of Kabbalah is all about teaching what the intention is.
Moderator: Leave me with me one sentence, so I can maintain my intention with it.
M. Laitman: Okay: “love thy friend as thyself.” Try keeping that intention, and you’ll understand everything.