Q: I have no desire to do anything anymore. Things that used to give me pleasure - theatre, friends, even vacations – no longer do and I’m losing contact with old friends. What pains me now is my inability to understand the full structure of the world.
My question is: although I feel a lack of excitement, I must still function in this world. How should I utilize the external world for the study of Kabbalah?
A: What you are feeling is the beginning of your receiving new values and your reaction to what is happening to you. This period takes some time; you cannot perform significant changes all at once because your mind, your fundamental and essential systems, your nervous system, and the reciprocal relationships with your environment, make it very difficult for you to do so.
However, the good news is, you have already begun the initial process of inner change. Keep studying and asking questions. You’re just like any other person who feels the initial effects of correct study on your inner world. A person who studies Kabbalah does not descend from a previous state, but climbs to a higher one, so there’s no reason for despair, much less depression.
Of course, what excited you before now seems unimportant, childish and superficial. Naturally, everything around you changes: you work only for the pay, your contact with the relatives diminishes and exists only to the extent that it’s necessary, and your friends are no longer close. These are the external expressions of your inner change.
But externally, you must continue to work and not change a thing! No matter how much your interest drops, you must not follow your desires, but your duty. You must act against your new desires; you must keep working, be with your family, and enjoy sports. All the secondary interests and hobbies are redundant. But you have to maintain contact with your relatives.
Giving up work, even if you have enough money to sustain yourself for the rest of your life, may jeopardize your spiritual progress! And while you must maintain in contact with your relatives, you’ll have to gradually detach yourself from your friends. This happens naturally.
There’s a law in nature called “the law of equivalence of form.” That law makes objects with similar attributes draw nearer, and objects with opposite attributes distance themselves from each other. When signs of spiritual attributes arise, that law begins to act on us to the degree that we have attained these attributes.