Q: On the one hand, we want to draw away from our own natures and into ourselves. On the other hand, we ask the Creator to bring us near to Him – a move intended to serve our immense desire to enjoy. Is that not hypocrisy?
A: The answer to a plea of the Creator is the answer of man to himself. Others cannot see inside him, and that is why Kabbalah is called “The Wisdom of the Hidden.”
The test and the proof that one has been answered by the Creator, has equalized with Him and entered the spiritual world, is only in the actual sensation of the Creator, of the Light, of equality and unity. That sensation is always intimate and personal, and it is impossible to convey it to a person who does not feel it. That is why the saying goes, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”
As long as one has not acquired a screen and has not felt the inner Light of the Partzuf, called Taamim (flavors), one thinks that one is not drawing away from one’s nature, but rather falls deeper in to it.
Because the Light of the Creator influences one to a greater extent, one regards the remaining attributes (that are yet unchanged) as worse. Thus, one thinks that it is not the Light that is stronger, but that he himself is changing for the worse. But while every step of the way seems to indicate one’s situation is worsening, he who walks the road will see its end.