Q: Why is there a difference between the understanding of the mind and the feeling of the heart? Why is it that after a person has already followed his heart, because he couldn’t go any other way, he finds that his mind was right? Why this struggle in me and how do I cope with it?
A: What happens within you are inner examinations of yourself and the beginning of the study of your self. It is quite possible that you have performed this analysis of yourself earlier, before you began to study Kabbalah. Psychologists deal with this, as well.
The difference is that psychological analysis is not done under the influence of Kabbalistic texts, but by studying ourselves within the framework of this world, in the degree of the human mind.
When one studies Kabbalah, one’s entire analysis is a consequence of the effect of the surrounding Light on one’s soul. Therefore, you will eventually relate your feelings to the contact with the Creator. Read more, especially parts of the material that you like. It is also good to read Psalms. Search for a discussion of similar situations in the articles.
You’ll see that you’re going through what they went through. You’re progressing toward the goal, although the road seems confusing, tiring, tedious and empty. Nonetheless, it still leads you toward the goal, toward eternity and perfection.