Q: What do I do if my ego does not allow me to do things for the Creator? I terribly regret it, but there is nothing I can do about it. Does this mean that as far as internal work is concerned, all that remains for me to do is to watch it from the side?
A: Over the course of our spiritual development, the Creator shows us our essence, our nature, and the difference and distance between the Creator and us. As we advance, we feel our inferiority with growing intensity.
We see our traits as negative and relate to them differently than other people relate to their traits (if they ever do). We examine ourselves and compare ourselves to the Creator. The Upper Light already reaches us, but not - as yet - very strongly, not openly. It appears just enough to make us feel the difference between the Light and ourselves.
Read more of the material that you feel close to and it will help you through this time. You will still encounter various situations in the future, and for this reason our sages have said, “Much knowledge increases pain.”