On The Waves Of Spiritual Attainment

What does knowledge give us if while reading The Zohar we can't remember anything a moment later?

Knowledge does not give us anything. Today I know something, but tomorrow I forget all about it. Why do I forget? If my desires (Kelim) change, then tomorrow, within my new desires, I won't remember what I knew before because I am no longer inside my previous desires.

I can convey knowledge from one level to another only through sensation. Our states include a wave-like process: knowledge-sensation-knowledge-sensation. Suppose I have just corrected my desires on some level. According to this level of correcting my desires, I acquire some knowledge and sensation of reality, a realization of where I am, on what level and in what world.

Then a new desire comes. The previous level disappears and I am immersed in darkness. What remains with me? Everyone knows that when the sensation of darkness comes to you, then all the previous sensations disappear and you can no longer work with them. However, if you begin working with this new level, this new darkness, then your efforts evoke a new Light that comes and corrects you. You then go on to a new state where you have a deeper understanding of the previous knowledge based on the new, higher knowledge.

Therefore, you should never take knowledge into account. It will always be there and it will always enter the corrected desire. The most important thing is to correct the desire. Then whatever needs to be revealed in it will be revealed, but there's no point worrying about that.

This is why the people who study correctly leave the lesson without remembering anything. They just go away with a general impression. This impression is recorded in their senses rather than their understanding. It remains in the sensory, not the mental, memory.

I don't look down on reason at all. In fact, I am drawn to knowledge and serious study. However, when a person studies through the point in the heart, he does not remember or understand what he studies until his sensations develop sufficiently and he starts to understand with his feelings. He then understands "what he is feeling."

It turns out that what you study for years disappears and the "results of the study" are not apparent. The results should not show in your knowledge, but in the correction of your qualities by the Light of Correction (Ohr Makif), meaning in your qualities.

This is very different from studying at a university, where a person studies for four to six years and then becomes an expert in some field, and then writes a dissertation for another several years. Where is the clear knowledge of a person who studied Kabbalah for ten years? What has he gained? It seems like he has nothing to show for it. That's because every day he is born anew, in new qualities, until he attains revelation.

When he attains revelation, then it is recorded on his level. Then, in states of ascent he really has mastery of the material and possesses knowledge. But in states of descent, he is in the dark and only his experience holds him up. (See Baal HaSulam's article, "What Is Support in the Torah, in the Work.")

One has to understand that until we reach the Final Correction, the states vary a great deal, and we should only consider the height or level of correction. Knowledge will always accompany a person according to his degree.

How To Grow Up To Reach The Zohar

The most important thing while reading The Zohar is to unite with the text. If we remember that the Light influences us, this is sufficient.

A small child lives among adults, but what does he understand from their conversations and behavior? Does he know their world? No; it's all a secret to him. We are built by nature like a child among adults. Without understanding anything or being ready for it, a child perceives everything by means of the "surrounding glow."

This is the manner in which development takes place. Gradually, indirectly, from outside, a child begins to absorb everything from adults and tunes into them without understanding what is happening ahead of time. By entering them through his desire, he begins to feel and then to understand. This first develops new senses and desires (Kelim) in him, and then the mind.

When we are adults, we don't develop, but merely fill ourselves with knowledge and sensation. Our senses no longer develop. They can only develop on the condition that a person enters an "area" where even without understanding or feeling anything, he desires to become similar to it. By means of his desire and drive, without understanding or knowing anything, he begins to absorb forces from this area, and that develops him.

Adults do not undergo the same inner development as children; they merely fill their previous desires. Both in our world and the spiritual world, new desires can only grow when you want to feel and discover where you are.

When I read The Zohar, I don't know what it is talking about. But because I desire to reveal this picture, I develop the senses through which my soul perceives. This is why it is written, "The study does not happen through reason." (Lo HaHacham Lomed)

Our spiritual development takes place in exactly the same way as a baby develops in our world. It can only happen when the lower level completely annuls itself before the Upper Level. After all, we are learning to feel a whole new world!

Kabbalists write about this in many articles. Baal HaSulam writes in "A Speech in Celebration of the Conclusion of The Zohar" that a student has to cancel himself before the Rav just as children do before adults. That is the only way you can attain a higher state.