Where To Look For The Reward For Bestowal

Question: How can I keep being motivated "for the sake of bestowal" if I don't see any results from my actions? Should I just blindly believe that the text I study is influencing me this way?

Dr. Laitman's Answer: There is a two-fold problem here. On the one hand, I have to ask for bestowal even though I'm not really interested in it. On the other hand, if suddenly by some miracle I do want to bestow, then I am still expecting the result of this action inside my Kelim of reception. But the reward for bestowal cannot come into those Kelim.

It is simply impossible. If I bestow, then I feel the result inside the Kelim of bestowal. If I bestow expecting the result to come inside the Kelim of reception, then I remain twice as empty.

Therefore, when a person does not see the result of his good, correct actions, which he might really be doing, it is natural because he is looking for the result in the wrong place. He is checking his wallet to see, "Where is my reward for bestowal? Where is the money, honor, power, health, or at least something?" But there are no results in these Kelim. On the contrary, they are twice as empty.

You exerted so much effort, but you have nothing. It would be OK if you never made the effort. A person who doesn't work doesn't receive anything (even though he is ready to receive without working). In that case you cannot complain. But if I bestow and do not receive anything, it is twice as bad.

So what should you do? In order to feel a reaction to and the benefit of acts of bestowal, you must reveal the Kelim of bestowal. You must correctly understand what the result of bestowal should be.

It is written: "The reward for a commandment is a commandment" and "The reward for a commandment is knowledge of the One who Gives the commandment." This means that I reveal the quality of bestowal that suddenly begins to surface in me, the Upper Force that governs everything. I suddenly start to have a connection with it. I may also feel that I have an aspiration to continue acting in this direction. This is the reward.

We have to look for it. Our only problem is that we are looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place.

-from the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/14/10

The Beginning Is Concealed From Us

Question: Our actions are unrewarded and the prayer of the society is beyond human ability. You need energy just to ask for this. So where do we start? Where will we get the energy to carry out these actions, which are beyond our nature?

Dr. Laitman's Answer: We can understand this through the example of man's development. He emerges as a result of mutual actions of the father and mother, then goes through lengthy development in the mother's womb, and is born. His own forces start to surface in him, but of course this happens unconsciously. Even though we see that he reacts, it is clear that he is not doing it himself, but on account of the forces that are accumulating in him. They are causing the reaction.

But at some point in time, we start to see a personality in this being. Of course, we can say that the forces of nature are evoking his reactions, as well as his personality, behavior, likes and dislikes. However, these qualities have accumulated in him in a specific combination and have taken on a personal form.

Where does one's independence start to come through? Is it in the prayer or plea for oneself or for others? The Upper Light is the only force that acts upon us. It influences us without our awareness just like nature influences an embryo or a child. On our part, we try to evoke a greater influence from the Light, and thus accelerate our development. Therefore, we should simply make efforts. This is the only thing required of us.

-from the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/14/10