Bestowal Is Invisible but Infinitely Important

On the spiritual path I ask myself what seems like an insolvable question about how to overcome my evil inclination, egoism. Kabbalists tell you, "You have to try." Understand this: The Creator really is opposite to your nature; the quality of bestowal is extremely hateful to you; you cannot even think about love for the neighbor, not to mention its implementation.

So what should you do? Move gradually. Make actions that will bring you to the prayer. Resort to all possible means and tricks in order to nevertheless feel the importance of the quality of bestowal and to place it above the quality of reception. Even if it's repulsive to your nature, even if you feel that you don't want to bestow because you find bestowal very bitter to the taste, then at least with your mind you will nevertheless begin to value this quality for its height and greatness, for the fact that it is the quality of the Creator. It governs the world and it is respected by the environment which you have entered.

By using various tricks, you will evoke the Light that Reforms. In other words, by studying, working in the group, and disseminating, you will prepare your intention: "I want the influence of the Light. I want the Light, the force of bestowal that created my desire, meaning the force of reception, to influence me, to influence my desire, and to add the intention of bestowal to it."

You do not know exactly what you are asking for, but try it anyway. After all, you want to reveal the Creator, meaning the quality of bestowal. You want to feel the upper world, to live in the quality of bestowal. You want to reveal the common Kli, the common soul, meaning to live with the care for all the other desires, which will become revealed to you in the form of the system of the single soul. Gradually, thanks to the intention before and during the study, together with the friends you will reach something called a "miracle" and will begin to feel that more and more, you really do respect and value the quality of bestowal.

Suddenly, it becomes very important to you. It reigns in the whole world because bestowal does not have to be expressed. It is primary; in fact, it is the entire life force in all of reality. This quality supports the still level, raises the vegetative level, gives vital forces to the animate level, and gives man unity and connection with the Creator.

When this "miracle" happens to a person, he suddenly feels love and connection with that quality. A special feeling emerges inside of him in relation to the quality of bestowal. He is ready to receive from it everything that it wants to give, to do anything just to become similar to it and to give it pleasure. A person feels that he is able to do this and that he thereby brings goodness to the quality of bestowal, the Creator.

All of this happens inside of me under the influence of the Light. However, it only happens to the extent of my efforts, in conformity with their quality and quantity. Before studying, I prepare myself by asking: What am I studying for? Why am I opening up the book? The answer is that it's only in order to acquire the quality of bestowal, to reveal the force of bestowal, to reveal the Creator and merge with Him. In other words, it's in order to unite with the force of bestowal so it will rule inside of me, so it would turn into my intention above the desire.

That is how a person advances until the entire egoistic desire becomes revealed in him, whereas the force of bestowal will become an intention to him, the bestowing desire above the receiving desire. Then the receiving desire and the intention for the sake of bestowal will be together and a person will reach adhesion with the Creator.

That is how we realize ourselves correctly. It is written about this that "Israel carries out the Creator's will."

From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 02/23/11, Writings of Rabash

Bad News For Egoism

Kabbalists teach us the path to the root so each of us would attain the root of his soul. They tell us that the most important thing is the intention. There is a force Above intended to correct us and lead us through all the phases to the final, exalted state. However, we have to precede the ascent with our own actions by anticipating it with our request or desire.

In the end we have to feel something that we are unable to currently perceive. We do not have anything to grab hold of, no opportunity to. This "something" appears insignificant and meaningless. Why is that? The reason is because the phenomenon we have to feel is bestowal and love for the neighbor. This is the force of the Creator, the quality called "the Creator" which envelops and fills all of reality.

We don't understand it or feel it, and are unable to come closer to it. We were deliberately created opposite in order to see the Light from the darkness, and then to understand, feel, and manifest it.

The simple Light as such would blind us. Therefore, we exist and develop in the quality of reception, gradually acquiring more and more details of perception. Then comes a moment when we despair of reception and acquire an impetus toward the quality of bestowal. This spark that awakens inside us is called "the point in the heart."

Then we are brought closer to realizing it. We are brought to an instructor, books, and environment. Now we can develop this spark into the real quality of bestowal and love for the neighbor. Our work lies in making all the possible actions that can help us increase our value of the instructor, the primary sources, and the environment. When we elevate them above our egoism, above the quality of reception, the quality of bestowal becomes more important to us and we start to feel greater respect for the Light than the darkness, or for the Creator than creation.

I read about this in the primary sources and that means I have to make efforts to this end. However, when I come face to face with it, when I make a plan to begin respecting and raising bestowal over reception in my eyes, what I discover inside is futility and lack of all interest in the subject. I feel that I don't care one bit about the instructor, the group, or the books. Everything loses flavor.

Why? It's because my egoism, my desire for pleasure does not smell any profit here. On the contrary, from that moment on it feels that what lies ahead are losses.

How can I cause anything bad to myself if I am entirely the will to enjoy? I am simply incapable of this. The possibility of harming myself is not inherent in me.

So what should I do? It turns out that my advancement towards the Creator lies in constantly separating from what now appears as "goodness" to me. Moreover, it is coming closer to "evil." Is that even possible?

The answer to this question can only be received from the science of Kabbalah.

From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 02/23/11, Writings of Rabash